The Unspoken Struggle: Understanding Men's Mental Health

Why Men Often Say “I’m Fine”

When we talk about mental health, the phrase “I’m fine” often hides more than it reveals — especially when it comes from men. It can indicate a desire not to burden others or show vulnerability. Statistically, men are far less likely to seek therapy, talk openly about emotional distress, or access support early. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling.

According to Samaritans, suicide remains the biggest killer of men under 50 in the UK. This statistic isn’t just sobering; it’s a call to look deeper at why so many men are suffering in silence and to make a change.

Why Don’t More Men Access Therapy?

The barriers to seeking help are often subtle but deeply ingrained:

Cultural Conditioning

Many boys grow up learning that emotions like sadness, vulnerability, or fear are “weak.” By adulthood, this belief can evolve into the idea that asking for help is a failure. This cultural conditioning creates a significant barrier to accessing mental health support.

Practical Silence

Even in well-meaning workplaces or families, there’s often no space where men feel they can speak openly without being judged, dismissed, or “fixed.” This lack of a supportive environment can prevent men from expressing their feelings.

Therapy Misconceptions

Some men assume therapy is about digging up trauma or talking endlessly about feelings. The reality? It’s often a focused, structured conversation — a space to clear your head, gain tools, and get back on track. Understanding this can help demystify therapy and make it more approachable.

Real Men, Real Conversations

Thankfully, things are changing. Organisations like Andy’s Man Club offer free, informal spaces where men can talk without judgement. Their motto — “It’s okay to talk” — is simple but radical in its power. This initiative encourages men to open up and share their experiences.

Another vital resource is PAPYRUS UK, which focuses on preventing suicide in young people. They offer confidential support and education for those supporting men in crisis.

What Helps?

Here are a few things that actually make a difference in supporting men's mental health:

Reframing Therapy

Instead of thinking of “getting help,” consider it as “taking space” or “clearing your head.” Therapy doesn’t have to be emotional heavy-lifting; it can be practical, time-limited, and empowering. This shift in perspective can encourage more men to seek help.

Normalising Support in Workplaces

When managers and HR teams speak openly and honestly about emotional wellbeing, it gives others permission to do the same. Supporting men’s mental health at work doesn’t require grand gestures — just straightforward, down-to-earth communication. Try using language like:

• “Most of us have a lot on our plate — this is here if you ever want to talk it through.”

• “This service is just a space to think things through.”

• “You don’t need to be really struggling to use it. It’s just a space to get things off your chest.”

  
  

Peer-led Spaces

Some men respond better in non-clinical settings, surrounded by others who’ve been there. Peer support, men’s groups, or casual drop-ins can be the first step toward something more formal later. These environments can foster connection and understanding.

Final Thought: Strength in Vulnerability

Accessing therapy isn’t about being broken; it’s about choosing not to carry it all alone anymore. The strongest thing many men ever do is admit they’re not okay and take the first step toward feeling better.

If you're struggling right now, or you love someone who is, free confidential support is available at:

Andy’s Man Club https://andysmanclub.co.uk/groups/ - Free Monday night groups - UK

PAPYRUS HOPELINEUK — 0800 068 41 41 (9am–Midnight)

Jemma Brett is a BACP-registered counsellor with a passion for creating safe, relatable spaces where men can think clearly, talk honestly, and reconnect with themselves. Sessions are confidential, non-judgemental, and always at your pace.